I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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