party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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