that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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