I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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