last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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