Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
