Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
