Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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