Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
