North Korea, Best Korea!
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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