This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Operation Purity has been aborted
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
