well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
