eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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