I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
