I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
