We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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