look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
