After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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