And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
