Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
she told me i tasted like america
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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