He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
