I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
