oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
