I want to stick my p in your. b.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
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