Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
