Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
