Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Semen is not good for contacts.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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