i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
COCAINE IS GR8
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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