He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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