Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
