margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
this must be what syphilis tastes like
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
