what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
