so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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