life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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