1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
