i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
