So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
