he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
