i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
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