He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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