yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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