Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
