i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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