You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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