Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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