doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
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