god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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