Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
my being single is dangerous.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
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