he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
