I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
