So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
This couple is walking their pig around campus
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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