i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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