I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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