fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize