i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
