We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
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