He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
