Me. At least after what I've been through.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
My ATM looks so different sober.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
