We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Randomize
