Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
It's never too late to be topless.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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