You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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