and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
