Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
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