Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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